As the parent or guardian of a university student, you’ve shared your child’s journey through the education system, from their first day at school to their last exam. You’ve supported them through revision, countless open days, and their UCAS application. You’ve celebrated with them on results day, and made the obligatory trip to IKEA to buy bedding, towels and aspirational kitchen utensils. You’ve both invested so much time and energy getting to university, why would your child drop out?
Well, I can’t answer that question. But I can tell you how to help them navigate the decision-making process, and whatever comes next. If you’re wondering what makes me qualified to do so, I dropped out of university in my second year and am now the founder of UnGraduates, a social venture supporting students who withdraw from higher education in the UK, and breaking the stigma around dropping out.
You may notice that I use the term ‘drop out’ frequently and intentionally, to replace the negative connotations with positive ones reflecting the bravery, resilience and initiative of students who decide to follow their own path.
In this article, we’ll cover:
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Supporting your child
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Listening
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Funding
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Housing
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Motivation
Whether your child is thinking of dropping out, they’ve already made a decision, or you’re just preparing yourself for every possible scenario, this is what you need to know.
1. It’s not the end of the world
I promise. It’s not even the end of their world, although your child might feel like this for a bit. Dropping out is more common than you probably realise, because it’s something we tend not to talk about, to hide on our CVs and LinkedIn profiles, so that nobody knows we tried something and changed our minds. In the 2023-24 academic year, more than 37,000 undergraduate students in England, Wales and Northern Ireland dropped out of university. That’s around the same number of people as the entire population of Beverley in East Yorkshire. Higher education in the UK has one of the lowest non-completion rates compared to other countries, but thousands of students drop out every year, so it’s important your child knows they’re not alone and that things will be OK.
If they’re unhappy but not sure about quitting altogether, there may be more options than you realise:
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Taking a break: Most universities will let students temporarily suspend their studies. The university should let the funding body (e.g. Student Finance England) know, and under certain circumstances students are eligible to continue receiving financial support.
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Changing course: If your child likes the university but isn’t so keen on what or how they’re studying, they may be able to move to a different course. This will depend on availability and whether they have the grades for their preferred course.
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Moving uni: If the university itself is the problem, it may be possible to transfer any credits your child has already obtained to a different institution. For example, if they’ve already completed their first year, they may be able to start their second year on a similar course at a different university.
However, depending on the circumstances which have led them to dropping out, your child may not want to start a new course any time soon. This was certainly the case for me when I dropped out in November 2014. Two weeks later, I started a Christmas job at HMV and over the next four years I worked in various retail and marketing roles, slowly regaining my confidence before enrolling at university close to home and graduating with first-class honours in June 2021.
2. Listen more than you talk
My Dad’s favourite thing to say when I apologise for accidentally talking at him for ten minutes on a walk or in the car, is that there’s a reason he has two ears and one mouth.
I count myself incredibly lucky that I could talk to my parents at any time before I left university, and that they fully supported my decision to drop out. One of the main reasons they were able to be so supportive is that they knew how much I was struggling, simply because they had listened to me. In my first year, friends would tell me that university was my home now and my flatmates were my family, assuring me that the doubt and unease I felt would pass. Knowing that my parents would listen without judging, or making me feel like a failure, gave me a safe space to explore potential ways of getting to a happier place. If your child is thinking about changing course, moving to a different university, or dropping out altogether, they might not want to share their feelings with friends out of shame or fear of not being understood. It sounds simple, but being ready to listen when they’re ready to talk may be one of the most powerful ways you can help your child navigate a difficult time at university.
3. Dropping out can be a logistical nightmare
One of the reasons I launched UnGraduates was the aftermath; navigating employment contracts, tenancy agreements, and student loan repayments after dropping out was almost as stressful as my university experience. There can be a lot of admin involved in leaving university early, piling additional stress on top of the difficult circumstances which lead to students dropping out in the first place.
The good news is that this is an area where parents and guardians can help in a really practical way. If your child is going to look for a part-time job while they’re at university, encourage them to check the notice period before they sign a contract. You can also prepare for any potential issues with their accommodation by reviewing the tenancy agreement with them. I was renting a house with three other students when I dropped out, and finding someone to take my room was one of the most difficult parts of leaving university. Even if your child is living in halls for their first year, check out the agreement so you know how and when they can leave.
4. Student finance is not limitless
One of the criteria that determines whether someone is eligible for student finance in the UK is whether they’ve studied a higher education course before. This means that if your child drops out and decides to go back to uni at a later date, they may not receive the same amount of funding. There are multiple factors that affect this decision, including at what stage they drop out and the reasons why, so the process of applying for student finance may be more complicated the second time around.
As I dropped out in my second year, I wasn’t automatically entitled to another three years’ funding when I was offered a place at a different uni four years later. For my student finance application, I had to provide evidence that there were compelling personal circumstances which led me to dropping out the first time around. Gathering this evidence can take some time and I hadn’t received a decision about my student finance before my new course started in September 2018. Thankfully I was awarded funding to cover another undergraduate degree, but this wasn’t guaranteed and was added to my existing student loan debt.
If your child is thinking of dropping out and starting another course, find out how this affects their student finance and encourage them to keep documents they may need to provide as evidence later on.
5. Dropping out is not copping out
As a society we’re completely fine with adults leaving jobs that make them unhappy or don’t live up to their expectations. And yet we continue to isolate young people who leave three or four-year degree courses for the same reasons.
Dropping out doesn’t make you a failure any more than leaving a job or relationship that’s not right for you. It shows extraordinary bravery and an ability to think for yourself without following the crowd. If it sounds like I’m tooting my own horn now, it’s because the shame I felt followed me around like a shadow for a long time, and I don’t want anyone else to feel the same. As friends progress to the next stage of their degrees and celebrate graduations, your child might feel like they’ve failed or are missing out. Celebrate their own unique successes, and let them know that you love and support them for who they are, not just what they achieve.
University can be an exciting, joyful, life-changing experience, but it can also be incredibly lonely if you’re struggling. The UnGraduates website is a free resource hub with practical information and guidance around dropping out, and we’ll be adding lots more resources over the next few months.
As well as supporting students who are considering dropping out, UnGraduates exists to shine a light on the inspirational stories of people who have left uni and followed their own path to success. To join our community, follow UnGraduates on social media, check out The UnGraduate Diaries podcast on Spotify, or email hello@ungraduates.co.uk.
